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:iconlazygamer313:
Pretty good story, really explains about Zecora's involvement in the events of "Tear of the Fallen Star", good sentence structured and as well as good rhyming dialogue with the Zebras that is mentioned in the story. Well done for creating such a wonderful sentences.

Good explanation with the ancient history with the "War of the 4 Tribes" and as how Zecora's ancestor, Chief Jumb Rafi, unified the Zebra tribes. Interesting to see what sparked the events to have him join the war at Equestria in hopes to unified every continent for peace. Sad how things didn't work out and how he wished to aid his friend that will exist long after his death.

Zebra's use of magic is pretty unique and original as how one doesn't need a unicorn's alicorn (the hallowed horn of the unicorn) to perform magical feats, or potions as the case may be. With Zecora's having prolonged use of meditation as a young foal would explained why, despite that she's arguably around the same age as Twilight, she have a great deal of wisdom and insight for such things.

Her journey to leave her home in order to travel to Equestria has helped explain her inner thoughts as she faced her trials without having comforts of friends and would be very bitter shouldn't StarBolt thank her as a friend.

After reading, its very touching how despite being in such a alien environment, she has found happiness with not only Star Bolt who visited her from time to time (to which it would explain why he appears in the other short story), but those who would be her new friends as they opened up to her.

Overall, very nice story that sets in the main universe of your story. I once again shall be looking forward to other small stories that takes place in the universe. Best regards
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:iconpriceless911:
Priceless911 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thx ^^

I usually don’t like writing about cannon characters because I always hear how people would argue that the character wouldn’t act like that. Nevertheless, as exotic and challenging a character as Zecora is to write for, and the fact that I wrote her as Chief Rafi's ancestor really allowed me to enjoy writing this story. I used many points in her appearances on the show, in her story such as the numerous times that she was meditating when the others approached her, and I even used the way she rhymes weather they be short and simple or whether they use 4 key rhymes or 3 which is usually harder to match when allowing her to respond naturally to the situations and the actions around her. but all in all she is number Two of my favorite characters on the show and I love this story and even though it was a long one that I almost had to turn into a chapter story, it was still awesome and I really liked writing this one. I'm glad you liked this one and I'm looking forward to finishing the other short stories that I'm working on, the next chapter was finished earlier today so I'm only waiting for the proofreader to reply. I'm glad you like this story and even though this is the only comment on this story I received since it was finished, it is motivating me to finish the rest of what I got planed.
THX :D
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:iconlazygamer313:
LazyGamer313 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
Yeah, It has surprised me as well that I'm the only so far to comment for a great side story such as this. I can imagine that readers are still busy from the Christmas Holidays.

Indeed you have done great job with the rhyming for having 3 or 4 keywords instead of the usual 2 that most people would have. Quite the challenge you did and I have to give you kudos for that.

What I like to know is how this story could potentially connect to your main story or side stories as how Chief Rafi has two grandson and how that Zecora's Chief was off to celebrate the birth of a new foal. Am i over-analyzing small details? Possibly, buts that the fun i used it to speculated what is to come from the next stories.

Anyhow nice work as per usual, with not only from you, but the entire crew as well that helps making this story as the best it can be.
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:iconpriceless911:
Priceless911 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I’m often going back and reading this one just because I liked this story and for the small detail I just took note that despite what actually plays a role in the story, things around the story its self will always continue whether they act with the story or not. I’m sure an elder was always called in to bless a new foal when one was born, and I would guess after one thousand years, Zecora probably isn’t the only surviving member of chief Rafi's family, but she is the one specially chosen for this task. There is a difference between telling a story and being unrealistic. Plus I left it open for changes in the show who knows there could be an episode where a relative shows up, I hope not but that’s not my choice. But readers are free to take it as they see it. And as you know from my other writing I tend to use a lot of hints and clues as to what comes next, it just makes it more fun for the readers. :)
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